I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
