im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
