he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
