Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
