a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize