I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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