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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize