The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
