why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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