she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
