he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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