But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
