With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
