I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
