when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
