I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
