i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
