Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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