I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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