My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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