Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Thank you for not boning my boss.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I can't trust your balls anymore.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
