Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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