What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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