? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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