I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
whose ass print is on the piano?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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