It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
