so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
