im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Randomize