He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
