Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
