Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize