Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
