I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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