that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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