you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
