NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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