I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
