Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
