I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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