I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
