i'm signing you up for texting rehab
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
