yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
