HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
