I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
