You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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