just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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