you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
