remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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