I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
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