My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
its liver damage thursday
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
