So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
