How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I'm always down for nudity.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
