bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
