I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Randomize
