I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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