I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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