i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
My vagina is officially offended.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
i think im in europe. pls send help
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
