Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
