Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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