I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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