I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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