Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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