I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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