he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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