Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
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